RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE

Man and woman - fateful encounters - understanding and fusion of souls - relationship, coexistence and family - love and lovemaking - sex and passion

We offer an informal view from the personal experiences of several people.

A lot has certainly been written on the subject, but perhaps we will give readers something new and stimulating.  


 

As a heterosexual man, I perceive a woman as the basis for a man's meaningful life, as well as a man's only meaningful sense of life for a heterosexual woman. So you want female androphilia and male gynecophilia. Thus, we would have from the "neck" the basic sexual orientation, in which it is inevitable to achieve a full relationship with the opposite sex. From this rather boring introduction, we will move straight on to what I would define as a life experience. I apologize in advance to all women who will read it, I'm just a man :-) (Peter 39)


The basic mistake that is borne by modern society and is often the reason for "failed intercourse" is the idea that only men are horny. Personally, I think that women suffer much more from a desire that they do not manage well. Although it is true that the rape of men by women is completely negligible, so aggressive sex is primarily a chapter for disabled and unbalanced men. However, let's leave this to psychologists and psychiatrists. Let's imagine that we are normal :-) In this paragraph, the point is that I had to understand that I can lure a woman by buying flowers, various gifts, going to the cinema and masturbating at home, but then it can be very easy state that another man comes takes the woman to dinner and ends up in bed. The next day it happens that the woman tells you that it was very nice with you, but that she has someone else. The lesson from this is simple. Whatever happens, let it happen! Whether you like it or not, like haste and rudeness, restraint also discourages it. It's just that if you want to have a platonic relationship and your sexual goal as the image you are praying to, I wish you good luck from the bottom of your heart, but if you are both healthy then sexually active - it can't work. The point is that I am convinced that a woman can be aroused much more easily than a man if the conditions are right. Thanks to the X-year social convention, however, a woman is usually able to keep her desires in check, both in terms of maintaining her level in the position of a woman and for various logical reasons such as current partner, husband, children, etc. their interest and this very fact will satisfy them to appease their ego and be able to go in peace in the house to promote their interests with a partner, husband, etc.  In fact, it's an almost endless cycle of the same. Likewise, a man and a woman want to prove that they can have someone other than them. Infidelity, whether platonic or physical, is an almost natural part of all relationships. It only depends on everyone where he lets him go and what he is able to sacrifice for something new.


I have to write, for me, this important text, which will cover all parts of the topic. It is definitely not my goal to discuss sexuality and all its aspects of human life in any way. I am not and never will be Sigmund Freud, even though I partially know and respect his work. All I want to do is express my experiences and observations from my life. Personally, I believe and agree with the statement that every balanced relationship between a man and a woman is 50% sex and 50% mutual understanding - if you want intelligence harmony. So when sex doesn't work, the relationship doesn't survive when sex works, but the two don't have anything to say, so the relationship doesn't work either. Yes, I admit it can have mathematical deviations, so it can be as much as 30% to 70% and vice versa, but otherwise in my opinion not anymore. Let us realize that I am not researching a relationship that will last a month or a year. In my opinion, the limiting time between a man and a woman in a joint household is 4 years. If the above balance between sex and understanding does not work and the relationship continues, it is always just self-sacrifice for one and sometimes both without them often realizing it. The main aspects of an ongoing but dysfunctional relationship / marriage are stereotype, comfort, fear and, most importantly, children. I'll keep it, I'll hold it, I can handle it, because the kids. Not that I don't understand and respect it, but the result is usually life in "hell" which will not bring anything to the children and usually the separation / divorce / division, etc. will only be delayed.


Let's go back to the beginning and start focusing on specific situations, ie my experience and the experience of people I met. One of the basic complicated moments of a relationship in today's consumer society is money. First, then, what it is like when they are. There is a lot of cheating in a relationship with money. Expensive gifts and holidays carry their weight because women are much more receptive to the opinion of others. Nice jewelry, handbags, shoes, etc. are a source of satisfaction, because they arouse recognition or envy in friends and thus strengthen the ego of a woman. Also, photos and videos from expensive holidays help maintain a social impression, a beautiful and great relationship. I admit and I admit that it's fine. However, it has one whole flaw, and that only women with a reduced IQ can withstand the manipulation of a relationship, or they have to "alcohol" a lot, and drugs are good for that - either you can't understand it or you have to get into a state when you do not perceive reality. In reverse, many men remained unhappy because there was a house, cars, gifts, holidays, artificial breasts and shot hair, but Madam disappeared with the garbage man (nothing against the garbage man, it was just an example and understand that in the context of this example garbage man who won). So money is fine anyway, but it doesn't solve anything on its own.

Now a few specific cases where or in which I have been. It's a bit for the stronger characters and is the one who will understand the context, congratulations, the one who will not understand them or not believe it, I wish he would never experience anything like this. I will write everything in the second person, because as I said in some cases, I was just like a friend or just like who saw and heard it.

  • She was a girl and he was a boy. She was nice he was nice. She was cheerful he was cheerful. She was entered he was after a breakup. After a few words of two meetings, they bit into each other. She left her boyfriend with whom she was 8 years old. Respectively, she went with her new one and stayed with him. She didn't even go for her things and she solved it by buying new ones. Alcohol and music played a big role in this relationship. He had a job and she was an artist, so she painted pictures and paintings more precisely, and her father had a gallery where, among other things, her work was sold. They didn't have much money, but they had enough to be a party-to-party relationship. It was all very cheerful and a lot of people who knew them envied their carefree lives. But that's not how it works. Well, in fact, it would probably work, but no fun will last forever, even though it could entice someone, it has no lasting value. Only sex, alcohol and music and a little here and there to make some money. One day, after about 4 months, the boy got a "zeal of responsibility" and started solving practical things. The girl didn't like it and one day she left and returned to her former partner. The party and fun ended and it was over. I think it would take them a few months longer, but sadly, the only thing that could prolong it is to start taking some chemistry, because alcohol was low.

 

  • Wasn't the previous case so interesting? I see. We have another one. There was one woman and one man. Love like from a red bookcase. They married very young, she was 18 and he was 20, and within three years they had two children. Ideal, but as long as the parents helped it. The man didn't want to work hard, not out of laziness, but out of the feeling that every job he offered or tried seemed inferior to him. And so they got into financial trouble, which deepened in lending. There is no point in solving what was the main cause, but a man's fondness for slot machines also played a role in everything. One day they came up with an "interesting" solution. The woman offered to go to the nightclub's companion. For ignorant companions in a nightclub, it is a kind of socially tolerable definition for a prostitute. So time went on and the man regularly called the nightclub with the question "how much did my wife earn?". I have no idea how this marriage ended.

  • Another story. It can happen and, as I have already written, I perceive everything in such a way that it can happen to a man as well as a woman. Although you may be intellectually fit and have extensive experience, you can still come across. It's complicated sex, if it's nice, then especially in the beginning forgives a lot - you know? :-) Well, yeah, but it's stupid when joint plans get involved. We will live together - this is quite standard, but when you are still planning to start a company and do business, it is not so easy. And so it happened that after 15 years, a woman called a man. Previously, they only knew each other in a platonic, friendly and working relationship. The woman wanted to change the place where she lived with her ex-boyfriend (nothing conflicting but…) and especially also the job, where she did not manage mentally interpersonal relationships for a long time. The man was after a difficult breakup, but he had a concept and started a business. Word gave a word to a couple of sms and phone calls and a classic weekend took place in the pension - alcohol, sex and absolute harmony. Remembering old times and discussing many topics from their lives. The man explained to the woman his concept, the woman was excited and everything ran, as the company was established on the wire, business began and earned, and regular weekends took place in boarding houses. In fact, if it stayed that way, it was almost perfect. But the woman wanted to change the housing and the job. The company was at the beginning, so it was not earning enough and the situation was not critical, but it was complicated. It is either one or the other. Change of work and housing or company did not go all together. How to get out of it - that was the question. In the end, the woman solved it. One day the man called and said she had quit and time was running out. The man behaved as expected and believed how great it would all be when they lived together. He subordinated everything to the needs of women and living together. What has happened is, I think, understandable at this point, and probably correct and normal. But how did it go on? The woman had all her needs fulfilled, so she moved, she found a job in which she was well. After a month of living together in the permanently conflicting atmosphere that the woman evoked, she said that she was not interested in the company and broke up with her husband. She found another man in a few days and it was all over. To understand this story, it is necessary to mention that all of the above took place within 6 months. The lesson from this is simple - never change the state in which it works - certainly not quickly and not subject to any pressure. Everything has its time and everything has to mature.

 

Infidelity - betrayal in love


If we omit the pathological tendency to permanent unrelated relationships and sex, then, in fact, the inability to live in a monogamous bond remains the "normal" thing that happens today and every day.
He is unfaithful and has a mistress - she is unfaithful and has a lover.
Why this often happens is a difficult question. The first reason I would call the development of society, the media, the Internet, magazines, etc. Few people realize that we are constantly bombarded directly and subliminally to the idea of something nicer, smarter, better… Then just a little. Often innocent, accidental acquaintance, even in an elevator, just about anything, they both believed can change.

When someone is missing something, they are looking for it elsewhere - it is quite understandable - but the question is and let them ask themselves, each one of them, if it concerns him: ? "
When you find a new love soon after a difficult breakup, it can very well happen that you try to make a new partner what you have lost. This is bad in most cases and it can happen very quickly that you will experience another breakup.
I will probably be cursed by women now, but I am convinced that women are much more consistent and stricter about infidelity.
  The exception confirms the rule, so I dare say that the way women manage to fall in love with someone else, tear down all bridges and completely put themselves in a new relationship, regardless of children or property, that is fascinating. It should be noted, however, that women, on the other hand, are much less prone to infidelity. So, in general, one could write that a man is better able to be unfaithful without hurting his wife, and a woman, when she is already unfaithful, is "worth it."
Jealousy plays a big role in infidelity. One could almost define the rule that the more jealousy the more infidelity. Women want to like it and it's right, men want to hunt and it's right. Flirting is by no means infidelity and, conversely, it can easily maintain a relationship. It is important where I go to sleep and with whom I go, everything else is just "fun" in clear terms.
Never go to a society together in a conflict that could jeopardize your relationship. Depending on the extent of the crisis you are experiencing, it may happen to you that you experience the so-called infidelity out of trouble, so it is very badly equal. Beware of alcohol and other drugs. In a crisis, it will only make your psyche worse, and it is easier for you to do something you will regret.
The basic rule of a stable relationship is communication. I think whoever knew it will agree. When he does not communicate, he fights and when he fights, he does not love, and when he does not love, it is over.

Loyalty always pays off in all respects, but it must be mutual. A built relationship based on mutual understanding, tolerance, patience and respect has magical powers and can overcome many obstacles and difficulties of life. This claim can only be argued that stereotype, comfort or even calculation and, in the worst case, fear are often the glue of lasting relationships.

SPACES

Divorce and love fueled by the misfortune of a third person ...


 

Every breakup is difficult. Therefore, it must be admitted that a man and a woman can break up even in complete comfort. When she has someone else and he too it's just a deal. One day they will meet and say to each other, it was nice, but there is no point in continuing. They break up and remain friends, but not very often. Usually it's tragic for one and not a single man and not a single woman has ended up in alcohol, drugs and also bypassing deaths.

I don't want to go into analyzes at all, why divorces occur and why words like love and I love you are often just empty phrases without content. There are XY factors that affect every relationship and there is a diametrically different end to, for example, a six-month single and childless relationship or a five-year marriage from which two children arose. A big role  age and experience definitely play, and let's make money today. 
I will not go into detailed analyzes at all about divorces and divorces where there are children. I only perceive the generally accepted rule that what is best for children should always happen. However, I personally admire all psychologists, social workers, judges and parents who can know what is best for a child in a complicated relationship… However, I understand that they have to make a decision.
I want to write about something else as part of the breakup with a certain amount of hope that it could help someone.
 
The most painful separations are when a woman or a man is strongly convinced that a separation cannot occur. I would even dare say that the more certainty the more it hurts. Anyone who knows this knows what a "psychic massacre" is when something ends, which yesterday, a week ago, a month ago was beautiful and great. How to deal with it? Heavily…
As I wrote, there is no universal formula for separation and therefore there can be no universal advice. However, I think there are some important rules.
 
First, remember how you met and how and why you started your relationship. You may find that the mistake was from the beginning and then you have to come to terms with this fact, forget and move on. I know it's better written and said than done, but what starts badly can't end well. It was only based on money - it would end with money, it was based only on sex - it would end with sex or, do you want it the other way around? It was just about money and it ended up on sex, it was just about sex and it ended up on money. Possibilities are XY sex, money, food, intellect, etc. etc…
Let's move on to a concrete and very common example of separation. A man or woman finds someone else break up and you are left alone. You are worried and you cannot understand how it could have happened.
If you are convinced that your relationship was so "fateful" and your "love" made a mistake in the breakup and you believe in the renewal of the relationship, you need to think about it a bit. First of all, you need to give it time. What is important in my opinion is to establish a so-called communication silence. It's a breakup - ok - don't write, don't call. No matter how it hurts, be invisible. They will talk about how bad you are and how better you are without you, and that you are alone and that you will, for example, write heartbreaking text messages and remorse will only feed the new relationship. If you are expecting a message such as "I'm sorry, I understand, I want to come back to you" then forget it is on the verge of a miracle. If you persevere, you may receive the message "Hello, how are you?"
The same is true if you have something in common in your relationship. Whether it is a television, a car, an apartment or a company, for example, believe that by stretching (settlement, division, settlement, etc.) you will not achieve anything. You will feed the new relationship again and you will become in the conversations of your counterparts only "the cow" - "that moron" and you will help them to regret your misfortune. Don't stretch anything and end everything as quickly as possible so that as soon as possible and their relationship can work in reality without you without feeding it your misfortune.
Beware of returns. Returns are always problematic and usually do not last. Those few days of "glory" when you get back together will leave and the memories of how difficult it was after the breakup will return. Of course, it is individual and many relationships can be strengthened by breaking up. However, memories are hard to erase, and in this respect, perhaps the most important thing is how much evil and callousness has happened in the breakup. Never do deeds and say words that don't matter, they won't help you and they will only hurt someone. It can turn against you when you least expect it.
It is said that after a breakup if you are on the sad side it is the best medicine to find someone else. Of course it works, but be very careful what you actually want. It is sad when you find a "substitute" and subconsciously wait for yours or yours. When your wishes come true, you will have to realize what you have been through and that is not good. It's not good to play with emotions - "karma is free" or (a little bible) don't do to others what you don't want to happen to you. Of course, everything always solves sincerity, and when two people say "it's just like that and what it will be" and both of them accept it in full consciousness, everything can work without any problems.
Careful revenge. I totally understand that there may be XY reasons to take revenge, but no direct revenge will help you. The best revenge is when you get better than the one who cheated and betrayed you. Realize very consistently that violence can only put you in a worse situation than you do. When you beat your ex-partner’s dude, or when you beat your ex-partner’s dude, I understand that you
  you will be relieved, but love will not return to you and it may very well happen that you will go to the police and possibly to the courts and you do not need it.
Sometimes it is so and sometimes differently. I have great sympathy for anyone who has gone through or is going through a difficult breakup, betrayal and despair. One of the few consolations that works is that it was all and is right and
  it made some sense whose knowledge was yet to come.

 

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