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HARD LESSONS


Have you ever fallen into love that did not exist? No pathos,  a youthful fall in passion or a poetic romantic outburst. Only an incredible interplay of random circumstances that will bring even a seasoned veteran to a knee-and-woman relationship.
I was contacted by a woman I knew and fell in love with her in her youth. She was 20 and 27 and we were twenty years older at the time she unexpectedly contacted me. At first, I had no idea who it was. I have a good memory, but in this respect I thought she was some crazy woman. That's why I didn't respond to phone calls and text messages in the beginning. It must be admitted to an objective assessment that I was quite devastated at the time and that I only maintained casual and short-term relationships. The moment I got the information that refreshed my memory, I couldn't believe it. It was literally a shock to me because I still saw in my memory the little girl I loved 20 years ago.

After thinking for several days, I succumbed to her persuasion and decided to visit her. I didn't expect anything and I was just looking forward to meeting her and "talking" about the so-called old times and common acquaintances. 
The meeting after almost twenty years was perfect without exaggeration, and among other things, we understood each other immensely in terms of the world around us.  In fact, it was clear from the first moment that our meeting would not end just like that. There is no point in discussing the details of the following days. Everything was just great and even without the "big" money we were  happy. 
Only one thing bothered me a little. Here and there in our interviews, she indicated to me that she had a problem with aggressive behavior under the influence of drugs and alcohol and that she had a bad time. She said that everything was already solved and definitely nothing special had happened in my presence except for a few quills of grass. One day, about a month after our meeting, her phone rang. The police called to pick up the letter. It was strange to us, but we didn't look for anything special, so the next day after the call, she arrived at the local police department, and that was the last day I saw her for a year.
It was almost a year since I took care of her belongings and two dogs, and I only had contact with her through letters and short phone calls because she was in prison. I don't want to discuss her case and all the actions I've taken care of in connection with the lawyers and  court proceedings. An unforgettable moment was when I thought
he read a poem she wrote me in one letter. "Baby, stay with me and masturbate regularly." It may seem inappropriate to some, but it broke me a lot when I read it. It meant: about everything
take care and be faithful to me. So I took care of everything and was faithful.  In the end, after a year, everything somehow worked out and there was a chance for a normal life together.  Basically, when everything was fine, she broke up with me, mainly on the basis of various lies, slanders and half-truths. Not that I was making a 100 percent claim to her love, and I wasn't sure after all that had happened that it would work. However, it was a shock for me that I will have in me for the rest of my life. Especially when she found someone else about fourteen days after our breakup.
In conclusion, I would like to say what I realized and what I gained from this experience:
The ignorance of the partner, whatever the initial short experiences, leads to bad conclusions in the case of long-term separation. Above all, the letters create false ideas about what misery a common love must endure and how it is necessary to be patient and do everything to survive and be able to be together. It's incredibly powerful, because the more the system prevents you from living together and solving common problems, the more it unites you. I believe that this bond definitely goes through gender. It doesn't matter if the knight is a man waiting and fighting for his wife or vice versa, a woman is waiting and fighting for her husband. Whoever falls into this model once thinks that things are inevitable and given. But absolution can be the same as mine. I wish everyone not to experience anything like this.

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